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Standford

I am pretty out of touch with current events. I was wondering why I was seeing so many posts about rape in my Facebook feed until I started seeing specific articles related to the Stanford Rape trial. After seeing a petition to have the judge removed, I decided to read up on the details of the trial.

Here are a few articles I read

CNN

NY TIMES

THE ATLANTIC

Nothing was as detailed or powerful as the victims letter.

I am horrified. How we can treat each other this way is mind boggling. You couldn’t have been caught more “redhanded” than this guy. Yet, he still decided to take his victim to trial and claim innocence.

Being a woman in this world is a bit of a scary thing sometimes. I was in the grocery store parking lot the other day and someone whistled at me. My heart lept into my throat. I immediately looked for my keys, my only weapon. I tried to think of the closest police station and wondered if anyone would come help me if I screamed. I looked up and it was Luke. I yelled and told him that you just can’t whistle at me. He wanted to be cute, to flatter me. And I should be able to appreciate a whistle, right?

Here is a little blurb from a Facebook post that I thought was interesting. Find it on Momastery’s Facebook Page.

Hi! We should talk about rape culture and how to teach consent to our kiddos. Especially our boys. Fewer girls rape people than boys do, so our boys are a good place to concentrate first. 

My kids’ friends talk to me about tricky stuff. I don’t know why — maybe they’ve all googled me so they know I sure as hell can’t judge them. Anyway, recently one of my tween’s friends was at our house and told me that every time he gave his girlfriend a hug at school, she seemed stiff and uncomfortable. 

“Hm…” I said. “Did you ask her if she wanted a hug before you hugged her?”

“A couple months ago I asked her if we could hug at school and she said yes.”

“Hm. Okay. That’s good. But here’s the thing about affection and touching girls: You have to ask them EVERY NEW TIME. With your words. You cannot ask with your eyes or hands or arms or anything other than your words. If you want to hold T’s hand….you have to say, every single time…”T, can I hold your hand?” Her yes two months ago means nothing today. Her yes an hour ago means nothing right now. You start over every single time. And you listen not just for her consent but her ENTHUSIASM. You ask and listen. Every time.”

“Really?”

“REALLY. So, if you want to hug T, you say: “Can I hug you?” If you want to kiss T, you say: “Can i kiss you?” If you want to hold her hand you say: “Can i hold your hand?” Every single time. And if she wants to touch you, she should ask your permission first as well. We ask to pet each other’s DOGS, you guys. We DEFINITELY ask to pet each other’s BODIES.”

“MOM. Gross.”

“Yeah, well. “

“We’re gonna play Wii.”

“Good. I’m sweating.”

The end.

 

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How do we teach our kids about respect and physical touch and how sacred our bodies are?  And to be strong and able to seek help should they ever be a victim?

 

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One thought on “Standford

  1. Evil is able to thrive when good men do nothing (quote). It’s hard to believe that even with witnesses this rapist (animal) got off with 6 months. Wonder what kind of Mom he had? So grateful Fleet & Luke have such an awesome Mom to go to for advice!

    Like

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